It's funny how what really matters can change so drastically. One day I am focused on this person "Anonymous" and what would possess them to go around attacking a person for no reason, and the next day those thoughts are replaced with complete sadness for 2 families in my church. My heart is aching for them and the pain I can only imagine they are feeling. Then I just feel stupid for letting some dumb person get to me when in reality I should be focused on satan's mission to destroy God's followers. (Hey Rick, I did his name in lower case just for you.)
I always thought a pastor had protective armor that satan couldn't break through. I thought that since God was using them in such amazing ways that they were untouchable, immune, shielded from any attacks the enemy would attempt. I was wrong and I don't understand why. Part of me can see the logic and knows the truth, but then the naive side takes over and wants to only see the good in everything and pretend there is no bad in the world. That the strong leaders who have taught me so much will remain strong and unchanging. That families of God stay together and love each other as much as they love the Lord.
At this point I am emotionally drained. If I'm not crying or just completely numb on the outside, I am kicking and screaming, sobbing, mourning, gut-wrenching, broken and despaired on the inside. All that is left is hope and faith that things will end up as they should. I pray that God will watch over us all in this time, and that he will help us to lift each other up and stand unified in this war we are fighting.
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1 comment:
I totally hear you Becky. I am part of that naive group as well. I just can't let myself believe that this man who we all looked up to could possibly do this! But the fact is that he did.
One thing that I do know is that our church will be going through possibly the most amazing transformation yet. And really, I think it will be awesome!
Hey, we missed you AGAIN tonight! :(
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